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Ask the Yangxifu: Opposite-Sex Friendships in Asia

12 May , 2020,
Beth Weissman
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Ask the Yangxifu: Opposite-Sex Friendships in Asia

Eleanor asks:

I’ve recently befriended a student that is chinese in the usa. We lived in Asia for just two years and talk Chinese pretty much fluently, but my grasp of Chinese culture that is friendship/dating still pretty basic. He and I also have actually mentioned examining the possibility for being a lot more than buddies, but each of us decided to simply simply take more hours to access understand one another just like buddies for the present time rather than to hurry any such thing. I think there’s an evident undercurrent of attraction between us, and I’m stressed that when we decided we had been unsuitable romantically he would cool off friendship-wise too. In Asia, i did son’t see numerous opposite-sex friendships (besides with a high college aged children), and I also stress as a friend too if we don’t end up dating that I would lose him. We like and respect this person a whole lot, therefore I wish you are able to reassure me personally which our relationship can carry on even in the event certainly one of us discovers some other person.

Lots of my closest buddies in China are men — including Peter, some guy we also call my “older sibling. ” But not one of them are ex-Chinese boyfriends. And given other yangxifu Jessica‘s response in this specific article about dating and marrying men that are chinese I’m not the only one:

It really is unusual for ‘exes’ in China to stay buddies.

Therefore what’s up aided by the ex-factor? Numerous Chinese have suspicious whenever their spouse or partner continues a relationship having an ex — that, eventually, they’ll be more than buddies.

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